Good afternoon this beautiful Saturday!
I want to first start off by saying I am sorry for having such an extended delay in posting! Things have been insane the last few weeks.
- Week of Anxiety
- Week of Trials
- Week of Fasting
Week one: I wanted to
I wanted to post. I thought about topics and the trials of the coming week. Yet, I did not. I felt led to do a dance to a song. The song was beautiful, uplifting and relevant. However, I did not listen. I was tired. I was weary. I was stressed. And let me tell you, it drained me even more to wallow in my thoughts and ignore the calling of the Lord. I finally realized what I was doing and began to pray. But before the prayers, I just let my thoughts rule instead of trusting God and allowing God to lead me. Thank you, Jesus, I was in prayer by the time the next week.
“Therefore, tell you do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
Week two: When it rains; it tsunamis
Oh my! This week was by far the most struggling week I have probably ever had! Somethings where good stresses, good events, other came up unexpectedly, and some where just a slap in the face. Right now I do not know how, well I suppose I do, but seriously. Stress effects Fibromyalsia. The more stress usually equates more pain, less energy, and more brain fog. I woke every morning and gave each day to God. People poured their love and prayers out as I asked for them. I overcame loosing childcare last minute, I overcame being told by boss, she was not rehiring me for next year due to excessive absenteeism (you know single mom of two under five, I missed a few days), and to find out seven, only seven days, in advance that I had a case management scheduled and my ex would be in town. This all flooded a week where I had a big load of work at work, a Saturday filled with recital and gymnastics events, and a birthday party for my youngest. Which party planning is stressful, I enjoy it, but I do stress out about it. All on top of the normal work load of everyday life, all in one fun filled package.
I could go into so much deal, complain, moan, cry, but to be honest I survived it. It is over. I proudly can say, with God’s help, and support of some amazing friends, I did it. So I will leave it at, when it rains, it tsunamis and God will give you the best surf board to ride it all out famously!
“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Week three: Fasting
So Here I am. Faced with multiple situations, testing every part of my patience and character. Even the possibility of answered prayers (Thank you God you are amazing!)
What to do, where to go, what not to do, the flood of emotions, failures, guilt, next steps just over flooded my body. I continue to smile. I came into work, I prayed to make it through and for the trials of those i cared about, but would break into tears and fears in minutes. Running to the nearest quiet place to find my composure. I decided for the first time in my life to fast. I have given up things for lent or before big decisions. Finding something that distracted me from God and removing it so expand the tie I spent with the Lord. But this time I stopped eating. I knew I need to be serious. I new this is a pinnacle point in my life. I have grown so much over the past few years since my baptism. Now what, what more of me do you ask?
Well I will save the testimony for a later date, but I will end on this note.
If the prayers of a faithful believer can move mountains, faithful fasting can bring miracles!
“He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.”
God bless you all and I am so excited to be back in my blog and dancing!! Amen!